i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
