I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize