Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need to stop coming to work sober
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
