All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
