Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize