and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize