If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
