She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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