Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
