I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize