Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
