I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
