We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
