so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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