I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
