So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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