I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
