Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
