these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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