I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
