wat bout pragnant strippers??
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
