Tell her she can't have a vagina
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
