Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
