i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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