Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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