On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Someone came in the potted fern
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
