It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
