Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize