Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
