If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
