so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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