last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
