Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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