i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
