My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
