Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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