So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
