i used baking grease as lip gloss
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
