Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
