a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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