hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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