i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
