clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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