Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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