party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
