I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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