I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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