I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
