If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Shame - the story of my life.
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