My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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