She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
