Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
