god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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