And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
