Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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